Oxfam now offering ‘Vaccinated goat’ Christmas donations

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SYDNEY, NSW – Charitable organisation Oxfam has announced that they are offering ‘vaccinated goat’ Christmas donation gifts that can be given to family a friends.

The initiative builds on the successful ‘Donate a goat’ campaign which help lifts people out of poverty through the provision of manure, milk and baby goats.

Lyn Morgain, CEO of Oxfam Australia, explained the new feature.

“We all know how important vaccinations are for fighting this pandemic, but we have been neglecting the poorest and most vulnerable in our roll-outs.”

“We kid you not, now through Oxfam Australia you can vaccinate a goat in a third-world country for only $25 and give it to a loved one for Christmas.”

“Don’t go baaa-humbug this Christmas, but instead help build some real herd immunity.”

The donations have been a popular choice, surprisingly among many in the anti-vax movement who see the goats as an opportunity to get around Government restrictions.

One anti-vax holiday goer, Billy Grayson, explained to the Damascus Dropbear why vaccinated goats are such a great idea.

“Well, it turns out that there is a loophole in the system where we who don’t want the vaccine can utilise these goats vaccination passports ourselves.”

“All we have to do is sacrifice the goat on the alter of a Government temple, and all our vaccine sins are forgiven.”

“I realise that the poor animal is becoming a COVID scape goat, but as least we are now free to worship at church and celebrate Christmas with our families.”

It is further reported that the Government is reviewing the practice of vaccine animal sacrifice, and are said to be developing a new ultimate once-off vaccine sacrifice that can cover all COVID transgressions for all time.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more Christmas news. To read more about the theology of sacrifice, see this piece by the Gospel Coalition.

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

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