NZ PM demands Trans-Tasman bubble have preferred pronoun ‘Ze/Zau’

AUCKLAND, NZ – New Zealand Prime Minister, Jacinta Ardern, announced on Tuesday that the new ‘Trans-Tasman’ travel bubble will have a compulsory preferred pronoun attached to avoid country discrimination.

The Trans-Tasman bubble is an agreement that would allow for quarantine-free COVID travel between Australia and New Zealand, but Ardern has indicated that only those who respect the bubble will be able to utilise it.

“As a country we are still fully focussed on the two top priorities of COVID and preferred country identification,Prime Minister Ardern said.

“We are well aware of the hateful words and jokes that Australia use about New Zealanders, and this needs to stop in our new safe-space bubble.”

“We have zero tolerance for international partnership discrimination, and any reference to New Zealand as just another ‘State of Australia’ will have serious repercussions.”

“Therefore, any person wishing to engage the trans-tasman bubble in the future will be required to use its preferred pronoun of ‘Ze/Zau’.”

When questioned about the Trans-Tasman bubble, Australian Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, was supportive of the bubble but appeared hesitant to endorse the preferred pronoun.

“Well firstly, it seems a pretty blatant attempt to make the pronouns reflect New Zealand as the dominant country with ‘Ze/Zau’.”

“Secondly, I might remind people that New Zealand was originally connected to Australia by land before the collapse of the East Gondwana mountain belt.”

“This ‘Fall’ of New Zealand’s original nature resulted in the Tasman sea which ultimately keeps us separate and broken.”

“Therefore, our fundamental position continues to be that New Zealand should ultimately return to their God-created, non-trans position of being one with Australia.”

However, it is further reported that Victorian Premier, Daniel Andrews, has challenged the Prime Minister on his language and reminded him that anything that could be perceived as ‘country conversion therapy’ would carry international criminal charges.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more international news. For further history around evangelism and New Zealand, see this piece by the Bible Society NZ.

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