NRL now planning to feed boycotting Christians to the West Tigers
MANLY, NSW – The National Rugby League (NRL) has announced that they will now feed the seven boycotting Manly players to the West Tigers.
The decision came after the players, known as the #ManlySeven refused to play after the club announced the pride jersey – featuring rainbow stripes and trim – would be worn this week.
The NRL Chairman, Peter V’landys, indicated that this was the fairest solution for everyone involved.
“It really is all about inclusivity, and that’s why it is so important that people who hold different religious and cultural beliefs be mauled as a public spectacle.”
“The Manly seven will therefore be fed to the most desperate and hungry team in the league, the West Tigers.”
In an exclusive interview with the Damascus Dropbear, one of the #ManlySeven, Josh Aloiai, explained how they were feeling regarding the NRL decision.
“For us we had to take a stand, I mean constant pats on the butt in football are one thing, and Manly jerseys have always been a bit gay, but wearing the pride jersey is a whole new level.”
“At first I thought they were just going to ‘feed’ us in a trade to the West Tigers, but then I realised how pyscho these guys are.”
“I guess it could be worse – I mean the West Tigers are pretty toothless – at least we aren’t being fed to the Penrith Panthers!”
The NRL have also announced that next week will be a ‘trans round’ where the players will all be playing entirely in drag, with any bigoted resistance to be met by lynchings by the North Queensland Cowboys.
It is further reported that Manly are now considering going further by changing their club name to the more neutrally-gendered, ‘Theyly’.
Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear to for more football updates. For a great piece about Manly in Babylon, see this blog by Stephen McAlpine.