NRL fans traumatised after learning there is to be no ‘Rainbow Pride Round’

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SYDNEY, NSW – NRL fans have expressed they have been deeply traumatised after discovering that the NRL will not host a ‘Pride round’ in the 2023 season.

The fallout comes after a Sydney Morning Herald poll showed that 80% of Rugby CEO’s were opposed to the introduction on a Pride Round in the NRL.

The usually tough and resilient NRL fans have been brought to tears of despair over the decision.

Local Sharks fan, Dennis Blockster, expressed his agony.

“I just don’t know how my team can even play football without virtue-signaling all forms of sexual expression and gender identity and pushing LGBTI+ legislation.”

“The idea that I can’t see my beloved footy team (*sniff) smash into their opposition while wearing rainbow colours, feathers and sequins is all a bit too much.”

“Footy is about so much more than just… playing footy.”

Undeterred by the rejection of progressive politics into football, the Sydney Morning Herald have indicated they will continue to campaign to introduce other deeply relevant rounds into the NRL. These include:

– The Climate Change round

(where all players play naked to avoid supporting coal-powered manufactured clothes and equipment)

– The Republican round

(where one player is labelled as the king and all other players try to tackle him)

– The Black lives matter round

(where all white players are banned in order to address how horrible racism is)

– The Trans-sport round

(where all players are allowed to use objects from different sporting codes they identify with)

– The Drug legalisation round

(no explanation needed – but it sure will be funny to watch)

– The High tax round

(where players don’t really try after finding out that 95% of their salaries are going to pay for failed Government initiatives)

– The Refugee round

(where all Polynesian players are sent home on leaky boats)

– The Invasion day round

(where the players boycott the match due to its history as an invention of colonialist oppressors)

– The Abortion round

(where players have to run around with the football up their jersey until being paid $300 by the referee and told to ‘get rid of it’)


Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more NRL updates. To read more about the the Pride Round from a Christian perspective, see this blog by Akos Balogh.

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

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