New Government flying high after Canberra legalises hard drugs

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CANBERRA, ACT – The new Albanese Government has enthusiastically welcomed new laws in the ACT which decriminalise the use of hard drugs including cocaine, heroin and MDMA.

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese was clearly very excited when talking about the issue with the Damascus Dropbear.

“Well, you see, gosh, this is such great news, oh my gosh, great news.”

“I’ll be totally truthful and say that when we got into Government and had a look at the budget deficit, energy crisis and boats coming in again we were all a bit depressed.”

“But this new law has really picked us up as I’m super positive now about Australia’s future – Wooh! Go Rabbitos!” 

Reports are that the Albanese Government is certainly working at a frantic pace, and appears to be spending extended negotiation time in the Greens’ Party offices as well as with Bob Katter.

Prime Minister Albanese has also spontaneously announced his new Minister for Narcotics, the Hon Walter White MP.

Some Canberra church leaders have expressed concern however over the legislation.

“I mean, I’m not actually that surprised that Canberra has turned to hard drugs due to the state of our political system,” indicated Pastor Baker Andrews from Sight Christian Fellowship.

“However, I’d still be encouraging our decision makers to be getting high from the Spirit of God rather than the Devil’s dandruff.”

“I mean, you saw what happened to King Nebuchadnezzar – he was hooked on grass for 7 years!”

The ACT Government has also updated the criminal code which now declares cocaine as officially safer that Christianity.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more political updates. To read more about an incredible testimony of a drug dealer, see this piece in the Gospel Coalition.

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