Mom’s faith tested after son’s 50-minute Fortnite monologue

SYDNEY, NSW – A local mum has reported having a crisis of faith after enduring nearly an hour of unbroken speech from her son over the online video game ‘Fortnite‘.

The event occurred during a particularly difficult traffic jam in Sydney’s Inner West, where the mother had allegedly just picked up the child from a friend’s across town.

“Now, I’m committed to following Christ’s example, but if have to hear one more time about Llama chests, Battle Buses or his new skins – I swear I’m going to lose it.” the mother exclaimed.

“If God is so good, then why is there so much suffering like this in the world?”

The pastor of the local church, Reverend Jack Omega, has indicated he is helping the family through this difficult time.

“Although our Lord didn’t have to put up with traffic jams, his own children or video games, I am sure he understands and will give you the strength to endure.”

“We should be on guard however as the Devil can come in many forms, including as a Fishstick, Guffor even a Tomatohead.”

Reports are that the woman has committed to a high-dose of meditative prayer and Bible reading to help her with her unbelief, but recognises that it may be some time before her strength of faith is fully restored.

“At least Jesus’ temptation in the desert was 30-days alone. To me that sounds more like heaven!”

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more mental health updates. For further discussion around video games and kids, see this piece by Christian parenting.

 

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

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