Minister Rowland denies wrongdoing after roulette table found in Parliamentary office

Share via:


CANBERRA, NSW – Communications Minister, Michelle Rowland, has denied all wrongdoing after a roulette table was discovered in her Parliamentary office.

The revelation comes after the Minister was found to have been receiving donations from gambling companies Sportsbet and Tabcorp despite her portfolio being responsible for online gambling.

Parliamentary services officer, Dwight Neilson, suggested that the roulette table was only the tip of the iceberg.

“Unfortunately we have suspicions that the Minister has in fact been running a secret underground Parliamentary gambling ring.”

“We are often finding random poker chips and betting slips scattered around the chamber after a debate and I think we have uncovered the ringleader.”

Minister Rowland however was adamant however that the roulette table had nothing to do with gambling.

“I actually use the table as a way to decide key policy decisions.”

“Whenever I am wondering what our Government should legislate, I simply spin the wheel and see what comes up.”

“Oh, look at that, time to update the discrimination laws against Christian schools.”

It is further suspected that the Minister has also been taking bets against her own party, attempting to convince her colleagues to all ‘take a dive’ in the third round.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more gambling updates. To read the full story, see it here at the Sydney Morning Herald.

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

Most Popular