Pentecostal University students barricade themselves inside chapel ‘until Holy Spirit released’
Image Credits: Haven light (edited)
Messiah’s triumphal entry ruined after fan causes huge crash
JERUSALEM, ISRAEL – Ancient prophecies were thrown into chaos today as an over-eager fan inadvertently caused the arriving Messiah to crash his donkey on entering Jerusalem.
It had been widely foretold that Jesus as the Promised One would enter the city as part of the first stage of the ‘Tour de Salvation’ Holy Week.
However, the 1500 year old plans were scuppered when the fan jumped out in front of the procession, creating a pile-up which appeared to cause serious injury to the Messiah.
Observers told the Damascus Dropbear of the damage extent at the scene.
“Everyone was so happy, cheering and celebrating the event before this idiot jumped in,” exclaimed Micah, a local baker and prophecy fanatic.
“Then it was chaos – there were torn cloaks and palm tree leaves scattered everywhere as we all fell over each other.”
“The Messiah himself had the biggest fall – broken and bleeding with one leg stuck under that ruddy donkey.”
“Oh the humanity!”
The crash has caused even wider concern about the impact on the rest of the salvation narrative, with doubts that Jesus will be able to continue.
The schedule had him booked for clearing the Temple on Monday, climbing the Mount of Olives on Tuesday, the Last Supper on Thursday, and then the grueling crucifixion stage on Good Friday.
One of the disciples, Judas Iscariot, has however indicated that the redemption for all humankind may have to be delayed.
The fan responsible for the upset expressed regret at their actions.
“I am deeply ashamed of what I have done and the damage that it has caused this historical moment,” they said.
“I was just so excited to see the new king coming, and wanted everyone to know and see the great sign I made.”
“I guess all I can do is ask that Jesus would forgive me for my foolishness.”
Reports are coming in though that in a miraculous turn of events, Jesus has in fact made a swift recovery and intends to return to the next stage promptly.
People close to Him told DD that he has encouraged his supporters by saying “Don’t fear, nothing is going to stop me winning this thing!”
Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more Tour de Salvation news. For further discussion around the prophecies which foretold his coming, see this piece by the Jews for Jesus.
