Melbourne University to offer courses in genderless math where numbers are replaced by emojis

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MELBOURNE, VIC – In a shocking move, the University of Melbourne has started offering courses in “genderless maths,” where numbers are replaced by emojis in an effort to make mathematics more inclusive.

According to proponents of this new approach, traditional numbers are too binary and exclusionary, with numbers being used to oppress minorities over hundreds of years.

By using emojis instead, they argue, we can create a more inclusive and diverse mathematical language.

“Genderless maths is the future of mathematics,” said Professor Jennifer Wokey, head of the Mathematics department at Melbourne. “We’ve already seen a significant increase in enrolment since we announced this program.

“Students who were previously triggered by binary numbers, or not being good at math in general, can now enjoy this accessible approach.”

“I look forward to seeing many new and innovative solutions to problems involving rainbows, unicorns, and the poop emoji.”

According to experts in the field, the use of emojis instead of numbers will eliminate the need for complex calculations, making math more relatable and less intimidating.

For example, instead of working out 2+2=4, students will be able to simply use the emoji of two hands making a peace sign, followed by two more hands making a peace sign, resulting in a high-five emoji.

But critics of the idea are outraged, calling it a ridiculous and unnecessary form of political correctness.

One anonymous professor at the university raised concerns about the practical implications of emoji-based maths.

“How are students going to apply for jobs if they don’t know how to use numbers?” 

“You can’t design a house, measure the distance between stars, or do a blood test using a bloomin’ snowflake emoji!”

Some students have also expressed frustration with the difficulty of learning to do math using emojis, saying that they would have studied anthropology if they wanted a course in hieroglyphics.

Despite the controversy surrounding this new curriculum, other progressive universities around the world are rushing to implement it. The future of math may be uncertain, but one thing is for sure: with genderless maths, the sky’s the limit – or rather, the rocket emoji.

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