Martyn Iles apologises after ‘literally destroying’ Q&A

ULTIMO, SYDNEY – Managing Director of the Australian Christian Lobby, Martyn Iles, has unreservedly apologised after his arguments literally destroyed ABC’s flagship debate Q&A program.

The apology comes as a consequent of an unusual event which occurred while Iles was appearing as a panellist for the show on Thursday night.

“Well at first, things on the program seemed to be going quite normally for a Q&A – which mean of course that the host, audience and other panellists are all doing their best to push the Christian into a blazing furnace,” Mr Iles described.

“But then they started going after our Israel Folau #Lethimplay campaign, suggesting ACL should be campaigning on something like indigenous deaths of poverty instead.”

“Of course I started to rationally explain why this was a false dichotomy – and the fundamental importance of religious freedom for a flourishing democracy – and that was when the floor began to shake and the roof cave in.”

“It turns out that even I didn’t realise the full force of my own arguments.”

Reports from audience present were that as Mr Iles was speaking, Q&A host Hamish McDonald, spontaneously combusted in what could only be described as a ‘puff of logic‘.

The other panellists were then tragically crushed under the falling debris, with Iles himself miraculously unharmed.

“I apologise unreservedly for the damage I have caused, as I had no intention of causing harm.”

“I should have known the unbelievable power that truth can have, being familiar with other demonstrations of God’s power in times of oppression like that of Paul and Silas in Acts 16:25.”

“I know there were some people suggesting that having me on the program would create an ‘unsafe working environment‘ – I guess they were right.”

“In the future I will endeavor to be more careful before utterly destroying people’s arguments.”

The full extent of the damage is still coming in, but unfortunately for Q&A even this miraculous act of God was not enough to lift their plummeting ratings.

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