Local man repents of eating Coon cheese

HOBART, TAS – A local Christian man has confessed his guilt and repented of eating Coon cheese, due to his own personal input into systematic racism.

Iconic Australian cheese brand Coon has come under the spotlight recently with comedian Josh Thomas campaigning for the name to be changed, due to its relation to a racial slur used pejoratively to refer to a dark-skinned person, despite the revelation that the name was in recognition of the work of the American Cheesemaker, Mr Edward William Coon.

The local man said that when he realised the connection, after listening to Mr Thomas, he was overcome with shame.

“The fact that I have gone all these years without recognising my own inherent, deeply-held racism in eating my favourite cheese is overwhelming. How could I have been so blind, so ignorant, so devoid of taste that I would commit such great sin without even realising it?!”

“I know that Christ is faithful and just, and will forgive my sin and purify me of all unrighteousness, but I don’t know how I can face the world knowing what I’ve done.”

The man has also indicated that he will be ridding his house of a range of other products including Colonial Beer, Coco Pops, ‘white’ sugar, and Domino’s Pizza.

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

Most Popular

Copy link
Powered by Social Snap