Man arrested for producing ‘aggressive evangelistic masks’

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PERTH, WA – The owner of a clothing screen printer has been arrested today after publishing what police labelled as ‘aggressive evangelistic masks‘.

The man, Daniel Bradfield of Apostle Paul Press, had printed and advertised a series of masks which he indicated on his website would ‘Infect the masses with Jesus’.

Police Commissioner Chris Dawson, explained that the masks put public health and safety at risk.

“These masks send a confusing message about what is really important in a pandemic.”

“This kind of misinformation – such as ‘Don’t wash your hands like Pilate’ – undermines key Government’s health advice.”

“We have therefore arrested Mr. Bradfield, and won’t hesitate to do so for anyone caught wearing his masks.”

“Aggressive evangelism puts us all at risk, especially when COVID salvation is so close at hand.”

The police may have a challenge on their hands however, with records indicating that over 500 masks had already been sold across the State.

Mr Bradfield however, appeared unrepentant.

“Well, if they want us all to wear masks I can tell you that ain’t no mask gonna stop me preachin’ his gospel.”

“Pentecost was the real super spreader event, and it’s been infectin’ the earth ever since.”

“Kinda ironic to get in trouble for wearing a mask, but that’s just how us Christian’s roll I guess.”

It is further reported Mr. Bradfield has also developed secret ‘heat activated’ masks that look just like any other mask, but reveal a viral Christian fish symbol when warmed.

Authorities have indicated they are unsure how many of these masks are out there, but have vowed to destroy them all for public safety.

For those who can’t read the masks, they say:
– I’m contagious (with the gospel)
– COVID ain’t got nothing on judgment day
– Bring on the Plague – Moses
– Want me to lay my Spirit spreader hands in you?
– Don’t wash your hands like Pilate
– Repent, or be socially distanced forever
– I tested positive to the Holy Spirit
– God still judges you even when you do have a mask

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