Pentecostal University students barricade themselves inside chapel ‘until Holy Spirit released’
Image Credits: Pete Santucci (edited)
King Fred Nile throws CDP spear at anointed Lyle Shelton
SYDNEY, NSW – Reverend Fred Nile, the controversial king of the Christian Democratic Party, has shocked party members after being observed throwing a spear at his successor, Lyle Shelton.
It is alleged that Shelton was gently serenading King Nile to sleep one evening with his harp, when the King suddenly became enraged and tried to pin Shelton to the wall.
However, Shelton eluded him as Nile drove the spear into the wall, and that night Shelton made his escape.
“I don’t understand it one bit,” the spritely but discouraged Lyle Shelton said.
“One minute I am beloved, anointed as the next in line to the throne, being given his daughters, slaying thousands of tweets for the glory of the king and the CDP.”
“The next moment he is trying to kill me. Lord have mercy and protect me from my enemies!!”
Servants of the Great King have indicated that he is overwhelmed with anguish, with his moods becoming more uncertain by the day.
“Sometimes he paces yelling how sick he is of hearing Christians praising the name of Shelton instead of his own,” a servant told Damascus Dropbear on condition of anonymity.
“He said he will not rest until Shelton is cast out of all NSW and his political career slain.”
“He is also acting very strange, stripping off his garments and prophesying about COVID and vaccines.”
“I must say I am getting more than a little worried about him.”
It is further reported that Shelton is hiding in a cave in Brisbane from Nile’s fury, and has endeavored to write a whole heap of psalms until the time Nile’s anger subsides (or the Lord removes him from his kingdom).
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