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King Falwell II humbled after observing pool boy from roof
VIRGINIA, USA – His Royal Evangelical Majesty and President of Liberty University, King Jerry Falwell II, has fallen from grace after a scandal was uncovered involving a Miami Beach pool boy.
The story goes that in 2012, King Falwell II was taking an evening stroll on the roof of his Fontainebleau palace when he spotted a 21-year-old pool attendant of unusual beauty, Giancarlo Bathsheba Granda, cleaning in only his bathers.
The King allegedly thought not much more of the boy, but his wife, Queen Becki, encouraged him to ‘sit and watch awhile’. King Falwell described the events following:
“I asked my attendants to retrieve the young subject, and we engaged in a range of exciting activities including hiking, water skiing and horse riding.”
“It was at that point we inserted seed money into the lad’s project, and he gave birth to the wisest hostel venture in all of South Beach.”
It is further reported that Mr Granda had a girlfriend, Uri Hittite , who was studying at Liberty University at the time. The Royal Family disapproved of the relationship however, and arranged with lecturers for her tests to be made impossibly hard so she eventually failed, and was kicked out of the university.
Prophet James Dobson has publicly chastised the King, paraphrasing 2 Samuel 12:11-12:
“Because of what you have done, the Lord will cause your own household to rebel against you. I will give your wife to another man, and he will go to bed with them in public view.”
“You did it secretly, but I will do this to you openly in the sight of all America.”
King Falwell II has since repented in sackcloth and ashes, saying only “I have sinned against the Lord.”
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