Jesus ‘really unimpressed’ with Demons victory in AFL Grand Final

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MELBOURNE, VIC – Jesus Christ, the Eternal vanquisher of evil, has expressed his frustration that the ‘Demons’ have won the AFL Grand Final.

Jesus, who currently resides in Melbourne, expressed the sentiments after the Western Bulldogs were hammered by 74 points by the Melbourne Demons.

“I just don’t understand why they think ‘The Demons’ is a good name for a football team!”

“All over the US we’ve seen names changed due to their inappropriate connotations – The Indians, the Redskins, the Chiefs.”

“You’d think that demons, as the epitome of all that is evil, foul and destructive in the world, would at least have a few people complaining.”

Jesus, who has long been an avid AFL fan (even being credited to have introduced the game into heaven) was however disheartened by the Final result.

Damascus Dropbear did inquire as to why Jesus just watched on while his team suffered so.

“I mean, sure I could’ve done some divine intervention on the game, but last time I did that the gambling companies tried to crucify me a second time.”

“The way I see it though, even though my team lost, I know that we win in the end!

“I am thinking however about lending my support to a different team for a season though – maybe North Melbourne.”

“If anyone needs some salvation at the moment, it’s them.”

The AFL has responded that although it is not currently considering changing the ‘Demons’ name, the St Kilda ‘Saints’ will be renamed next season due to its ‘highly offensive nature’.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more sporting updates. For further discussion around Sports and Theology, see this piece by the Gospel Coalition.

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

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