Pentecostal University students barricade themselves inside chapel ‘until Holy Spirit released’
Image Credits: Redeeming God
Jesus ‘incredibly anxious’ about US election result
GETHSEMANE, JERUSALEM – Jesus Christ, otherwise known as the Eternal Redeemer, has released a statement expressing deep concern regarding the outcome of the US Presidential election.
The comments come at a pertinent point in the vote counting, with a number of States still on a knife edge and legal challenges being muted over alleged voting irregularities, with the tight contest reflecting a deeply polarised nation.
“I must confess I’m not handling this well” the Everlasting King exclaimed.
“I just don’t know what’s going to happen. I feel so powerless and am terrified as to the evil that could be unleashed.”
“I’ve been praying all night for the United States, literally sweating blood in the hope my side wins.”
The ‘Alpha and Omega’ has taken to social media to spread his complaints to all who have ears to hear.
“I swear I’m gonna call down some almighty judgement if this election is stolen! #thiefinthenight,” the Prince of Peace wrote on Twitter.
It is further reported that the Lamb of God has allegedly enlisted the help of the Holy Spirit to try and influence the vote count through blindness, striking individuals dead, and calling down bears to maul the opposition lawyers.
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