Jesus finally sits down with Maradona to explain context of Psalm 89:13

BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA – Recently deceased football great, Diego Maradona, reportedly sat down with the King of Heaven today to discuss his controversial goal against England which he called ‘The Hand of God‘.

In what is being described as an ‘overdue biblical exegetical correction’, witnesses overhearing the discussion identified the relevant Bible passage being discussed as Psalm 89:13 which reads:

“You have a mighty arm; strong is Your hand, and high is Your right hand.”

Utilising the Damascus Dropbear’s heavenly access pass credentials (extremely rare in media circles), we were able to question Jesus about the event.

“Diego is really quite brilliant in some ways, but has a lot to learn about other things that really matter,” Jesus explained.

“Unfortunately he had the misconception that the Bible was all about him, hence his willingness to ‘transcend the rules’.”

“Maradona, and all Argentinians, need to know that there is only one God of football – and seeing His face is better than using His hand.”

“However, that second goal he scored against England was a beauty wasn’t it?”

It is further reported that Diego is excited to be able to run and kick a ball once again, and indicates that he will keep reading his Bible and apologise to the 1986 English football team when they arrive.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more megachurch news. For further discussion on Maradona and Christ see this helpful piece from the City Bible Forum.

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

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