‘Jesus died on ANZAC day for the sins of colonisers’ – suspicion drafters of National Curriculum may be slightly confused

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CANBERRA, ACT – There is deep concern about the draft National Curriculum today after it was revealed that there were some major historical inaccuracies.

The concerns were raised by Education Minister, Alan Tudge, who shared his suspicions that perhaps the National Curriculum board needed further work on their understanding of history and religion.

“Well, looking at the National Curriculum draft it is pretty clear that there is some confusion there,” Minister Tudge exclaimed.

“Firstly, Jesus did not die for the sins of colonisers on ANZAC day.”

“Secondly, the Eureka rebellion had nothing to do with climate change justice.”

“And lastly, Ned Kelly was not Australia’s first Indigenous freedom fighter for same sex marriage.” 

The head of the Australian Curriculum Assessment and Reporting Authority (ACARA), David De Carvalho, indicated that it was harder than people thought fitting in all the things people wanted to be taught to their kids.

He has lashed out against the Minister after this latest criticism.

“Fine then. You bloody try fitting in racism, LGBTI+ rights and intersectionality into a year 1 finger painting art class!!”

“You say you want more Christianity? Well the only place I can squeeze it in is as part of Year 8 woodworking .”

“They could whack two pieces of wood together to make a cross I guess. You happy?!”

Minister Tudge has confirmed he is still not happy.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more education news. To read a good critique of the curriculum, see this piece by Eternity News.

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