Homeschoolers shocked to finally realise there is a pandemic going on

Share via:

LAUNCESTON, TAS – A local homeschool family was shocked today to learn that the world has been in the throws of a pandemic for over a year and a half.

The Bullington family, involving a mum, dad and eight children aged between 3 and 7, have a small acreage in northern Tasmania and do all their children’s education independently.

They only heard about the pandemic yesterday after talking to a neighbour who was complaining about the impact of COVID on the tourism industry.

“Well golly, I was well and truly surprised when I heard the news,” explained father Tom Bullington.

“I ran back to the house, asked my 3-year-old to stop playing Mozart on the piano for a second, and told my children they all needed to sit down and listen – which they did perfectly of course.”

“Then I told them God’s honest truth, that the COVID virus had infected almost 200 million, killed over 4 million, and that Jesus was almost definitely coming back soon.” 

“Little troopers cried for a bit, but then we sung some old hymns together and I think they will be okay.”

There were however a number of skeptical reporters who thought it impossible that the family was able to avoided all news and outside human interaction for so long.

“Well, we don’t really have a TV due to the concern that Satan’s Hollywood might infect the minds of our little angels,” mother Cheryl Bullington told the reporters.

“We did notice that in some months there were less cars than usual going past our property, but we presumed this must just be due to some kind of petrol shortage.”

“We didn’t even hear it from our church, as we only do house-church with only a couple of other locals and are still working through 1990 radio sermons from Derek Prince.”

It is further reported that the family have now decided to commit to serving those most impacted by the pandemic, and are planning on all becoming missionaries to India next week.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more homeschool updates. For a fascinating discussion around the benefits and challenges of homeschooling, see this blog by Rod Dreher.

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

Most Popular