Hillsong to renovate iconic Festival Hall by ‘worship marching’ around it for 7 days

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MELBOURNE, VIC – Hillsong’s recent purchase of the Melbourne Festival Hall has caused further controversy after the megachurch revealed its unusual plans for renovations.

Whilst Hillsong has promised to continue running the Hall as a ‘community venue’, founders Brian and Bobbie Houston have approved significant plans to transform the venue into a place suitable for church fellowship, through unconventional means. 

“The financial challenge was not the only hurdle to jump over with this historic purchase,” Brian Houston reported.

“Due to the venue’s history of pagan activity, we knew we had to conquer the place in the name of the Lord, and fortunately the Scriptures shows us the way.”

“You see the Bible is more than just a grand narrative of God’s engagement in human history. It also makes for a pretty handy construction manual

The church, boasting an attendance of roughly 45 000, plan to fly down its congregation and worship leaders from across the country to march around the Hall for six days whilst Hillsong United plays songs from its latest album, Demolish

On the 7th day, according to Houston, after the 77th straight chorus, they will jack up the electric guitars and believe in faith the walls of the Festival Hall will fall to rubble, paving the way for rebuilding the venue.

However, City Councillors are reportedly confused as to the appropriate permissions and development forms required for such an endeavor, not ever having experienced the full force of a Pentecostal renovation church service before.

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