Hillsong announce ‘Life of Brian’ remake

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SYDNEY, NSW – Hillsong megachurch has announced they will moving into the movie business, starting with a remake of the Monty Python classic, ‘The Life of Brian’.

The move comes amidst the controversy of lead pastor, Brian Houston, temporarily stepping down due to charges against him for failure to report his father Frank Houston’s sexual abuse of a young boy to the police.

Hillsong Director, Phil Dooley, explained that he hoped the remake would tell the God’s honest truth about Brian Houston.

“The movie starts off with an ordinary young pastor who becomes intrigued by a young singer, Bobbie.”

“To try and impress her, Brian starts a ragtag church worship band – Hillsong.”

“However, while attempting to escape from his father’s shadow, he accidently writes a hit worship song, which ends up spurring a crowd to believe he is the Megachurch Messiah.”

“While trying to get rid of his followers and reunite with Bobbie, he embarks on several global misadventures, and ends up being dragged before the Australian courts.”

“I don’t want to spoil the ending, but I assure you he is not actually a very naughty boy.”

It is reported that Hillsong have decided to slightly adapt some of the original classic lyrics to fit a more ‘worship’ motif.

The script from the famous final scene remake with Houston on the cross has been leaked to the Damascus Dropbear. It goes something like this:

Hey Brian, if life seems jolly rotten
There’s something you’ve forgotten
And that’s to laugh and smile and dance and sing
When you’re feeling in the dumps
Don’t be a silly chump
Just open your lips and worship, that’s the thing

Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the Christ side of life

I mean, what have you got to lose?
You know, Hillsong came from nothing
You’re going back to nothing
What have you lost? Nothing!

The scene would of course included extra smoke and a funky base line.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more Hillsong news. To read more about the Hillsong story, see this report in Eternity News.

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