Pentecostal University students barricade themselves inside chapel ‘until Holy Spirit released’
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Greens leader moves Australian flag to make room for ‘less oppressive’ flags
SYDNEY, NSW – The Australian Greens leader, Adam Bandt MP, has indicated that the Australian flag needs to move over so less oppressive flags can be utilised.
The controversy comes after Mr Bandt moved the Australian flag from behind the podium, and then replaced it with a shiny red one before talking to the media.
When challenged on the stunt, the Greens leader was unapologetic.
“All I did was move the Australian flag so far left that it became completely irrelevant to the world.”
“I think the old hammer and sickle is a much more appropriate flag, as it doesn’t carry with it any hurtful Australian history of mass starvation, prison camps, totalitarianism or millions of murders.”
“I’ve also put up a lovely rainbow flag for the kids.”
“Google it mate, the time for the progressive revolution has come.”
“Wokers of the world unite!!”
It was at this point that Mr Bandt kicked over the podium and declared that he was renouncing his Australian citizenship.
He indicated that from thereon he would be identifying as a First Nations person, and proceeded to yell at everyone to ‘get your climate change and transphobia off my land!’.
The Parliamentary chaplain, Rev Eric Burton, did try and calm an excited Mr Bandt down by offering him a glass of milk and a nap.
However, Bandt just accused him of breaching personal Church/State boundaries and making him feel unsafe.
The situation only came to a conclusion after former Prime Minister Tony Abbott flew in wearing only speedos, and proceeded to shirtfront Bandt before hanging him up by his underwear on top of the Parliament flagpole.
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