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Government releases guidelines around Nazi salute ban
CANBERRA, ACT – In a bold move to eradicate all forms of hate speech and gestures, the government has announced that the Nazi salute will be officially banned in Australia.
However, in a shocking twist, it appears that Pentecostal worship hands will also be included in this ban due to its resemblance to the Nazi salute.
According to Victorian Premier, Daniel Handrews, “We cannot tolerate any form of hate speech or gesture in our society.”
“The Nazi salute is a symbol of hate and oppression, and it has no place in our country.”
“Now I want to assure everyone that daily life won’t be affected – you can still heil a waiter, do a dab, or give a fellow communist a high five.”
“However, the Pentecostal beliefs and worship hands are unfortunately just too similar to the Nazi salute, and therefore, it will also be banned.”
The Pentecostal gesture, also known as “praise hands”, are commonly used in many Christian churches as a symbol of worship and adoration.
However, under the new law, anyone caught using this gesture in public will face severe penalties.
This decision has sparked outrage among Charismatic and Pentecostal Christians who claim that their gesture has no connection to the Nazi regime.
Many have taken to social media to express their disbelief and anger, with one user tweeting,
“First they came for the Nazis, and I did not speak out because I was not a Nazi. Then they came for the Pentecostals, but they didn’t understand me because I was speaking in tongues.”
“The only way they are going to lower my hand of praise to the Lord is through brute force – or maybe tickling…” another said.
As for the enforcement of the ban, the government has stated that they will be monitoring all public gatherings and events to ensure that no one is using the Nazi salute or the Pentecostal worship hands.
Anyone caught doing so will face strict legal action, including fines and imprisonment.
Details are still being released, but one questions asked was whether a Pentecostal raising their hand to flag down a taxi is okay.
“Nope,” Premier Handrews replied, “Still counts as a Nazi.”
Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more Nazi updates. To read more about salutes of praise, see this piece by ChurchLeaders.com.