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Government install ‘COVID confessional booths’ for anonymous lockdown violation tip-offs
SYNDEY, NSW – Sydney residents awoke this morning to a large number of strategically placed ‘COVID Confessional booths‘ around the city authorised the NSW Government.
NSW has failed to contain the recent Delta COVID outbreak, and are appealing for tip-offs around recent large scale protests which broke strict lockdown conditions.
The NSW Premier, Gladys Berejiklian, explained the rationale for the confessionals.
“Our gold standard contact tracers have failed, and protestors are rebelling, so now we must turn to the people to overcome this terrible virus.”
“Our new system allows for every citizen to become a secret government informant, telling us if they observe anyone breaking restrictions.”
“I don’t care if its for personal reasons, protests or parent support, the message is clear – Dob on Fred to stop the spread!”
Premier Berejiklian was asked to provide further detail around the booths, and how they worked in regard to snitching on those within a one’s community.
“Every COVID confessional booth will have a faceless bureaucrat behind the screen who will carefully record all the dirt you have against other law-breakers,” Berejiklian went on.
“Additionally, these bureaucrats will have the power to absolve you of any of your personal breaches, administering lesser penance such as reciting the current health order regulations ten times.”
“It is only once we are able to turn neighbour against neighbour, family against family, that we shall all be truly free once more.”
It is further reported that the booths have already been very popular among many of Sydney’s homeless, who have deeply appreciated the shelter, warmth and the fact of finally having access to a Government figure who is required to listen to them.