Image Credits: Wikimedia Commons (edited)
Government accidentally imprisons new Archbishop after mistaking him for refugee
SYDNEY, NSW – The Federal Government has faced embarrassment today after accidentally arresting the new Anglican Archbishop of Sydney, mistaking him for an illegal Sri Lankan refugee.
The London-born former Buddhist of Sri Lankan heritage, Kanishka Raffel, is the first non-European to be elected to the highly-influential position within the Global Anglican movement.
Known as ‘The Meat‘ to his supporters due to his weighty theological teaching and community organiser experience, he said that he was ‘humbled by the election and would commit his trust to Jesus‘ in fulfilling the role of Archbishop of Sydney.
The celebrations were short-lived however after Federal Police arrived at the Archbishop’s residence to detain and transport him to Christmas Island for offshore refugee detention.
“Obviously I was quite taken aback by the whole experience,” Archbishop Raffel explained using his one phone call to Damascus Dropbear.
“My predecessor had warned me that due to the current shift in religious freedom, future archbishops could face jail time for their faith in Jesus.”
“I just didn’t think it would happen quite so quickly!”
Federal Immigration Minister, Alex Hawke, indicated that indeed it had been a regrettable error in arresting the Archbishop.
He fell short of apologising, but did suggest processes would be reviewed in the future.
“Well, when we heard about a Sri Lankan guy in Sydney we understandably presumed he was a direct relative of the Biloela Sri Lankan family who are already detained on Christmas Island as refugees,” Minister Hawke explained.
“Then we listened to some sermons of his and heard him talking about being a citizen of another home, and that’s all the evidence we needed.”
“To be honest, since we stopped the boats a few years ago we’ve had to be a bit more proactive about finding people to send offshore.”
“Lucky the Archbishop has to forgive us hey?”
It is further reported that the Department of Home Affairs has assured Archbishop Raffal that the paperwork to release him should be rapidly processed within the next 3-6 months.