Fred Nile retires from NSW Parliament after 969 years of faithful service

SYDNEY, NSW – The Honourable Fred Nile, founder of the Christian Democratic Party, announced today he was retiring from the NSW Parliament after 969 years in office.

Reverend Nile is the longest serving parliamentarian in Australian history, and is responsible for introducing a plethora of legislation over the centuries around human rights for the unborn, religious freedom, and abolishing colonial slavery.

“It has been the privilege of my life to represent Christ’s values in the NSW Parliament on behalf of the Citizens of this great State,” Rev. Nile told the Damascus Dropbear.

“I can remember my first year in office, where Parliament was literally just a pile of rocks and I sat with Indigenous elders debating the harms of ancient smoking ceremonies.”

“There has certainly been some wandering in the desert since that time, but I am proud to have helped carry God’s law into God’s own country.”

At a formal blessing event of his people, Reverend Nile reminisced on all he had achieved over the near millennia of faithful service.

“The highlight of my career was probably when I was given the Australian Constitution by God on the top of Uluru.”

“It was a bit disappointing seeing the recently arrived Europeans dancing around and worshiping a golden sheep they’d made when I came back down though.”

“However, I am proud to have been a unashamed Christian voice throughout the history of this promised land – and look forward to passing the holy legislative staff onto my descendents.”

Nile will be succeeded by former ACL boss Lyle Shelton, who is prophesied to served faithfully for 595 years. He will then succeeded by Martyn Iles XV, who is appointed to serve 365 years until the Lord takes him away on a fiery chariot.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more political news. For a biography of Fred Nile’s work, see this piece by Eternity news.

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

Most Popular

Copy link
Powered by Social Snap