Even toughest atheist pours out tears of thanksgiving after little Cleo found alive and well

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PERTH, WA – There have been scenes of grown men sobbing in the street and praising God after 4-year-old Cleo Smith was found alive and well today.

Cleo went missing from a campsite in Western Australia more than two weeks ago, and after a State-wide manhunt was found today in a house in Carnarvon about 1am.

Deputy Commissioner Col Blanch gave a statement saying that “This is the outcome we all hoped and prayed for.”

Damascus Dropbear also got reactions from people on the street in Perth.

“What can I say, it’s a bleeding miracle is what it is. No two ways about it.” said Michelle Dawkins, President of the WA Atheist Foundation.

“I….just…can’t. I’m just so thankful that *sniff* our prayers were answered for that beautiful little girl to be rescued.” sobbed local bodybuilding and tattoo champion, Michael Steadfast.

“Hallelujah, Hallelujah, HALLELUJAH!!!” exclaimed one hard-nosed corporate businessman, running around praising in only his underwear.

“I’d just like to thank Mother Earth for um… growing the plants that led…um… helped our spirit energy find Cleo,” indicated local Greens council representative, Jocelyn Houston.

It is further reported that Christian peacemakers are being brought in to try and prevent mass mob retributive justice being taken against the man who had allegedly taken Cleo.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more police  news. To see the live updates of Cleo’s recovery, check out the ABC Stream here.

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

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