Elite refugees intercepted fleeing Melbourne in mega-yacht

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MELBOURNE, VIC – A mega-yacht filled with wealthy refugees fleeing Melbourne has been intercepted by Victorian water police as it attempted to cross the Bass Strait and seek asylum in Tasmania.

Police report that the yacht, named ‘The Freedom Avocado’, had been transporting 17 well-dressed individuals and has now been turned back to Melbourne ports.

One of the refugees, construction magnate Mark Simonds, claimed that they were legitimate refugees and seeking escape from persecution, and this human right should not be considered a crime.

“In our home State my people are detained without trial, forced to wear oppressive face coverings, our businesses are regularly raided with arbitrary fines, and police curfews are enforced for months on end.” Mr Simonds told reporters.

“All we want is somewhere we can feel safe to travel between our many mansion homes in peace.”

The Victorian Minister for Anti-Immigration, however, claimed that the people were only economic opportunists who were putting lives at risk.

“We have zero tolerance towards illegal maritime departures, and we pledge to stop the boats and ensure sovereign borders,” The Minister said.

“These individuals clearly don’t realise how lucky they are and will therefore be held indefinitely in our Garden State Re-Education camps.”

It is further reported however that the Federal Minister for Home Affairs, Peter Dutton, appealed to Victoria to show compassion on those who were seeking asylum.

“All these people are looking for is a better life, and I call on the Victorian Premier to allow these people to be processed humanely as part of their rights in international law.”

“We have already setup a refugee processing centre setup in Tasmania, and we welcome all Melbourne millionaire and business refugees who need the Liberal party’s help, compassion and political freedom services.”


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