Image Credits: DC (edited)
Doomsday Dan earthquake fury signals Judgement Day for unvaccinated
MELBOURNE, VIC – Premier Dan Andrews has claimed responsibility for this mornings’ earthquake, indicating that further judgements were to come for unvaccinated protesters.
The earthquake, a 5.8 magnitude in Mansfield, is one of the largest in Australia’s recorded history, came in response to a mass construction worker demonstration at the Victorian Parliament yesterday.
Premier Andrews, dressed in a dramatic tight and flame covered outfit, addressed the media.
“I warned the puny protesters that they would incur my wrath if they continued.”
“What I have demonstrated today is that the construction industry is no match for me – I will crumble their precious buildings to dust.”
The Premier has also indicated that he is planning more plagues for the unrepentant, and is even considering a Rapture for the vaccinated.
“I wanted to reassure the righteously vaccinated that these plagues will not befall calamity upon them.”
“A time will soon come where I will take all those clothed in health obedience with me to the clouds, to meet me in the air.”
“And I will take them to the eternal heavenly country where there will be no more pain or suffering – China.”