Pentecostal University students barricade themselves inside chapel ‘until Holy Spirit released’
Image Credits: DC (edited)
Doomsday Dan earthquake fury signals Judgement Day for unvaccinated
MELBOURNE, VIC – Premier Dan Andrews has claimed responsibility for this mornings’ earthquake, indicating that further judgements were to come for unvaccinated protesters.
The earthquake, a 5.8 magnitude in Mansfield, is one of the largest in Australia’s recorded history, came in response to a mass construction worker demonstration at the Victorian Parliament yesterday.
Premier Andrews, dressed in a dramatic tight and flame covered outfit, addressed the media.
“I warned the puny protesters that they would incur my wrath if they continued.”
“What I have demonstrated today is that the construction industry is no match for me – I will crumble their precious buildings to dust.”
“Their Judgement cometh, and that right soon.”
The Premier has also indicated that he is planning more plagues for the unrepentant, and is even considering a Rapture for the vaccinated.
“I wanted to reassure the righteously vaccinated that these plagues will not befall calamity upon them.”
“A time will soon come where I will take all those clothed in health obedience with me to the clouds, to meet me in the air.”
“And I will take them to the eternal heavenly country where there will be no more pain or suffering – China.”
It is further reported that Four horseman have been seen riding through the streets of Victoria, though there are reports that at least one has already been punched by CFMEU union protesters.
Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more Judgement Day news. For further discussion around Judgement Day, see this piece by the Gospel Coalition.
