Pentecostal University students barricade themselves inside chapel ‘until Holy Spirit released’
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‘Don’t yo trust in ScoMo no mo’ – Former PM’s preach totally destroys government
PERTH, WA – Former prime minister Scott Morrison has let loose in a recent message to churchgoers titled ‘God gonna git government’.
In a sermon to Perth’s Victory Life Centre, Morrison encouraged the congregation to put their faith in God rather than the government based on his experience in the upper echelons of power.
“Don’t yo trust in ScoMo no mo, oh no”, Morrison exclaimed to an overly-excited audience.
“It’s Jeesus man who is da king, no da government.”
“Jeesus man where yo salvo flow, Jeesus man who make da rule, Jeesus man who brings da peace!”
“So go and show tho fo’s da true show, ya know?”
Despite the impressive diction from the former PM, there did seem to be some confusion from some in the media class as to his intention.
“So what your saying… is that everyone should burn all public buildings? Is that correct Mr Morrison?” asked the theologically illiterate journalist Lisa Visentin from the Sydney Morning Herald.
Current Prime Minister, Anthony Albanese, slammed Morrison for suggesting that the government may not be as trustworthy as God.
“Faith in Government to provide all your needs, desires and salvation is the lynchpin of Labor’s political worldview.”
“Plus, God isn’t the only one who can perform miracles y’know!”
“Watch as I make all union accountability entirely disappear…”
It is further reported that Morrison will be continuing his live preaching performances, formally challenging the devil to a rap battle for the souls of all Australians.
Some pastors have expressed some slight concern at the bet.
Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear to for more census updates. To read what Morrison actually said, see it here at The Other Cheek.
