Image Credits: Catholic Ireland
Disciples claim ‘election irregularities’ over casting of lots
JERUSALEM, ISRAEL – A dispute has broken out over the selection of a replacement disciple of Christ, with accusations that the processes around the casting of lots election contained ‘irregularities’.
Saint Peter was the official in charge of the election, assuring the group that the process of replacing the recently deceased disciple Judas with disciple-elect Matthias was ‘fair and transparent’.
“Well firstly, when the lots were cast, I was told to stand back and I couldn’t actually verify the throw. Someone could have easily bumped one of the sticks in Matthias’ favour.” Barabbas exclaimed.
“Secondly, some of the Matthias supporters had called the result even before the lots had hit the ground.”
“Lastly, and perhaps the most shocking, was that they claimed that Jesus would oversee the result – even though he is dead!”
However, Peter refuted the allegations, claiming the action was accurate, as well as being a fulfilment of Scripture in which the Holy Spirit had spoken long ago.
“Is Barabbas seriously accusing us of rigging the election? Doesn’t he realise what the Spirit did to Ananias and Sapphira?”
“If God killed them for simply lying, imagine what he would do to us if we selected a bogus disciple!”
“We’d be facing a bear mauling at the very least.”
It is further reported that Barabbas has sought an injunction on all gospel preaching by the disciples until the matter has been legally resolved.