Image Credits: AAP: Dan Himbrechts
‘Dab, Rub, Dob’ – Government launch new COVID inspired sunscreen campaign
BONDI, NSW – The NSW Government have announced a new sunscreen campaign based on the effective ‘ratting out’ of fellow citizens during COVID.
NSW Health Minister, Brad Hazzard, announced the ‘Dib, Rub, Dob’ campaign after hundreds once more took to the beaches last weekend despite lockdown restrictions.
“We have just been so impressed recently with how comfortable citizens are with snitching on each other in regard to issues of health.”
“Therefore, the ‘Dab, Rub, Dob’ campaign is one where people can remember to not only protect themselves against the sun, but also protect others by reporting them to authorities.”
“The sun shines down on the good and the evil, so let’s all do our part to make sure the evil anti-sunscreeners don’t get burned.”
One local church, St. Wowsers Paddington, has thrown their support behind the idea and have even been sending out ‘Sunscreen Evangelists’.
Damascus Dropbear tagged along with one of them.
“Isn’t it great the way that sunscreen protects us from the sun?” said one evangelist to an unsuspecting, unscreened sunbaker.
“Wouldn’t it be great if we had something to protect us from the fires of hell just like it?”
“Tell you what, if you take this gospel tract and come to church this evening, then I won’t dob you in.”
It is further reported that the Government is considering making sunscreen mandatory this summer, and introducing ‘sunscreen passports’ for all NSW beaches.