Corporations excited for ‘Greed month’ now ‘Pride month’ has finished

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MELBOURNE, VIC – Major corporations are celebrating ‘Greed month’ as part of their commitment to incorporating all seven deadly sins into their workplaces.

Much was made of ‘Pride month’ throughout the business world, as Australian companies such as Woolworths, Telstra and the Macquarie Bank all indicated how arrogantly satisfied they were in their own achievements of inclusiveness.

However, a number of CEO’s have declared that July is actually the ‘big month for business’.

“To be honest, we really only jump in on pride month for the ‘rainbow capitalism’ element,” said Telstra CEO, Andy Penn.

“Our marketing teams are pretty good at using queer and trans hashtags, but to be honest it really isn’t that natural for us.”

“Pride feels good, sure, but greed is really our most passionate and celebrated vice.”

“Wear it green day, putting up dollar sign flags everywhere, encouraging staff to use wealth-inclusive language – it’s going to be so much fun.”

“We are even doing our part for the community by funding scholarships for our executives who are seeking to transition from rich to very rich.”

It is further reported that elaborate plans are already being made for ‘Lust month’ in September.

Some CEO’s have indicated however that ‘Wrath Month’ may be skipped this year due to the ongoing murder investigations from last time.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear to follow which month it is. For more discussion around a Christian approach to Pride month, see this piece by the Gospel Coalition.

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