Congregants furious after churches pass on interest rate rise

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BONDI, NSW – Church congregants have expressed fury after their pastors have raised tithing fees after the national interest rate increase.

The Reserve bank announced on Tuesday that the interest rate would go up a whopping 0.5 percent, the biggest single increase in two decades.

Now it appears that Churches are among those responding, and have indicated they will pass on the full, 50-basis-point increase to new and existing congregational members.

Hillsong were one of the first to raise the tithe fees, launching a brand new worship song for the occasion called ‘Raise it up Lord!’.

The Anglicans were quick to follow however, with some Ministers awkwardly attempting to segway the increase into their sermons, indicating that just like Christ, the rates ‘Will rise again’.

The Catholics also announced the additional increase in the cost of blessings, warning that further increases may force them to introduce the sale of indulgences.

Archbishop Raffel of Sydney said that although church goers had expected higher tithing rates to be announced, “that doesn’t make this news any less difficult”.

“This will be very hard news for all of those Christians who are already facing the skyrocketing cost of discipleship,” the Archbishop said.

“Today’s decision, in addition to the pressure it will put on church budgets, will also make it more ­expensive to spread the gospel to sinners and those in need.”

However, the Archbishop later told the Damascus Dropbear he did not expect the Word of God to fall into recession.

The higher-than-expected tithing rate rise sent shockwaves through ­evangelistic markets, with benchmark church planting quickly dropping by 2.4% and casual neighbourly conversations about Jesus finishing at a historic low of 7096 points.

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