Churches offer sanctuary to political refugees after US election

BOSTON, MINNESOTA – Churches across the United States are opening their doors to an anticipated influx of millions of political refugees after Tuesday’s Presidential election.

Pundits have anticipated that, no matter which candidate wins, there will be an outpouring of anguish and despair for people who have chosen to rest their entire hope, purpose and identity in a political outcome.

Reverend David Koyzis, the Minister at St Albans in Boston, said that he was opening his doors as a ‘safe space‘ to all those in need of political redemption.

“People get so wrapped up in their earthly kings, seeing them as the way of salvation, and it hits them so hard when that vision is crushed.”

“So we figured we could provide sanctuary from a scary world to those who need it on election night, perhaps even showing them that there is another way, another kingdom.”

“To be honest, part of the motivation is to just get them off the street so they don’t start burning stuff.”

St. Albans has planned to offer prayer and comfort for the broken hearted, as well as cuddles and hot chocolate to those who really need it. There will also be a bedtime reading delivered by the Minister from the soothing words of St. Augustine.

“After Rome was sacked by Barbarians, Augustine said there were actually two cities – the City of Man and the City of God.” Koysis explained.

“He pointed out that the gods of the city of man could never deliver what people longed for, and that people’s hearts would be restless until they found their rest in God.”

It is further reported that the churches are also preparing emergency evacuation procedures in the case of a contested result for any moderates caught in crossfires.

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