Christian medal of honour awarded after gospel snuck onto front page

PERTH, WA – Federal politician, Andrew Hastie, has been awarded the coveted Christian medal of honour after managing to get part of the gospel onto the front page of a major Australian newspaper.

The extraordinary move comes in the midst of a report of war crimes by the army’s elite SAS unit.

Mr Hastie, a former SAS officer himself, claims he simply ‘saw the opportunity and jumped’.

“Utilising my previous experience as an SAS officer, I was able to drop behind enemy media lines undetected.”

“Only once the front page was published did they realise what I, and of course the Lord, had been able to accomplish.”

“In the full piece I even managed to mention humility, slip in some St. Augustine, and slam some of the Greek gods.”

In his acceptance speech, Mr Hastie indicated he had been training many years in order to reach this objective.

“I served in the SAS, was elected as a parliamentarian, all in preparation for this wonderful day of being able to share the gospel message in a newspaper.”

“Now the job God put me on this earth for is complete, I hereby resign my positions and will spend the rest of my days looking forward to glory.”

It is further reported that waves of The Australian readers have started repenting and committing to Christ, with the coming kingdom expected to enter the country within a few days.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more gospel news. To read Andrew Hastie’s reflections on the war crimes report, see his piece here.

 

 

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

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