Christian couple do snap ‘Bunnings wedding’ in order to adhere to COVID restrictions

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SYDNEY, NSW – A Christian couple has taken the unusual step of organising a ‘Bunnings wedding’ as a way to marry within Sydney lockdown restrictions.

Under the public health order, marriage – as in the legal ceremony, which requires a minimum of five people to attend – is banned.

However, as one couple figured out (who have asked to remain anonymous), plenty more are allowed at Bunnings at one time.

“As Christians we are committed to not sleeping or living together until we were married under God.”

“The Government has indicated however that there is no option except to wait for their approval, despite the fact that funerals, construction sites and shopping are all allowed.”

“In my mind, there are some transcendent aspects of our faith which simply don’t belong to the Government.”

“Plus, we have already been waiting for so…. freakin’… long!”

The couple’s minister, the Reverend Fitz Rodgers from Meadow Fairy Anglican Church, performed the ceremony this morning after it just so happened that he was shopping at Bunnings at that exact time.

A number of family a friends were also coincidentally doing COVID safe essential shopping, something which delighted the couple.

“It may have been a bit unusual, but to me it was perfect,” the new bride exclaimed.

“Our eyes met as I walked down paint aisle 13  towards him to the sound of the Bunnings jingle.”

“Our minister quickly did the ceremony while balancing on a shopping trolley, and then people threw wood shavings over us as we exited through the garden section.”

“Some aspects were difficult, like getting good photographs when people kept reaching for items in front of us.”

“But other aspects, such as the gift register, actually made things a lot easier – we just had to point out to our guests to all the tools we needed.”

“We also had a wonderful sausage sizzle reception out the front, and then drove away on the back of one of those hired trailers to begin our new lockdown together.”

It is further reported that despite Bunnings initial resistance to the event, they did agree to provide a copy of the surveillance footage for the couple’s wedding video.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more COVID updates. To read the real story about the couples trying to get married in the restrictions, see this piece in the Sydney Morning Herald.

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

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