Christian athletes yet to win Olympic medal after repeatedly allowing others to finish first

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TOKYO, JAPAN – Odd reports are coming out of the 2021 Tokyo Olympics where it appears not a single Christian athlete has won an event due to what some are calling ‘excessive race courtesy‘.

An international group known as the ‘Sport Saints’ has allegedly formed in the Olympic village, with reports that a secret pact has been made to

Evidence of those involved are becoming apparent, with a number of athlete members of the group appearing to slow down, or deliberately miss, in their events in order to allow other athletes to win.

One of those observed behaving in this way was the Hungarian marathon runner, Tabori Laszlo.

“For us its about making a statement that that there are more important things in life than winning a race,” Laszlo responded when asked about the unusual actions.

“Jesus said that the last shall be first and the first last’, and I guess this is our way of trying to live that out on the field.”

“If all of the decades of pain and training can help bring just one person to salvation, then it is totally worth it more than any gold medal.”

Some other so-called Christian athletes have heavily criticised the group however, saying they are not only ruining the sport but ruining the Bible’s message too.

United States hockey player, Donald Grump, said the group should be banned from the Olympics.

“These wimpy, do-gooders are simply undermining the whole freakin’ show,” Grump yelled, somewhat unnecessarily.

“Clearly Jesus wanted us to win at sports, and by smashing and humiliating all of our opponents we can show them the love and peace of Christ.”

“What could demonstrate what Jesus taught better than the combination of winning, gold, entertainment, national pride and podiums where you get to stand above other people and show the world how good you are?”

It is further reported that several of the ‘Sport’s Saints’ have been seriously injured after attempting to ‘turn the other cheek‘ in judo, fencing and rugby.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more Olympic updates. For further discussion around Christian’s and competition, see this piece by Theology of Work.

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