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Image Credits: Squatter board game (edited)
China purchase rights to iconic Australian board game ‘Squatters’
MOOROOLBARK, VIC – There has been widespread outcry after Australia’s most successful board game, Squatters, has reportedly sold the rights to the game to the Chinese Communist Party.
The move comes at a time where there has been increased scrutiny over foreign investment, with Parliament legislation coming into effect in January that focuses on protecting Australia’s national security.
Creator and proprietor of Squatters Pty Ltd, Michael Eshman, explained the decision to sell to Damascus Dropbear.
“We really didn’t want to sell the game, but we did take a generous loan from the Chinese Government in order to buy some more stock back in 2015.”
“It was then we were hit with the drought, then flood damage, then a severe infestation of Lucerne flea, and finally an income tax debt that allowed them to force a takeover.”
“I know many will be disappointed due to the great history and iconic nature of the game, but we want to reassure people that the new owners will still allow people to play.”
“The only difference will be is that now you can only utilise one of the sheep stations – and most of the wool sale goes straight to Chinese sweatshops.”
A number of Government ministers were outraged by the decision to sell such an important Australian gaming commodity, and indicated that they would be asking the Foreign Investment Review Board to assess any security risks associated with the sale.
Michael Eshman, however, said, with a tear in his eye, that his main concern was for the sheep themselves.
“I’m just hoping the new Chinese Communist shepherds are going to take care of the sheep properly.”
“I’ve been with these sheep so long, I know them and they know me and my voice – heck I’d lay down my life for them.”
“Are these new fellas gonna stand and fight for the sheep if a dingo comes? I’m not so sure.”
It is further reported that the Chinese Government have given assurance that they will provide the sheep with ‘communist life to the full’, promising not to lead them astray.
ACTUAL STATEMENT FROM SQUATTER OWNER – RICHARD LLOYD
We all love a joke, especially to highlight a serious problem. But no! We did not sell the Squatter rights and have no intention of doing so to the Chinese or anyone else.
Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more foreign investment updates. For further discussion around ‘Sheep not being stupid’, see this piece by the Gospel Coalition.
