SYDNEY, NSW — The NSW Rural Fire Service (RFS) has announced plans to spend the $53 million in donations, raised by Celeste Barbers’ January bushfire appeal, on a fire hose that can reach ‘anywhere in Australia’. After the runaway success of the appeal, it was revealed that the strict conditions of the RFS trust fund – ...

COLORADO, USA — In an increasingly desperate attempt to find a cure for COVID-19, a group of Christian Evangelicals in southern Colorado have taken the unusual step of building a 27m (90 ft) tall statue of Donald Trump, made entirely of gold, which they claim will make a person immune to COVID19 by simply gazing ...

MOUNT ISA, QLD — Federal MP Bob Katter today announced he was going to do his part in stopping the COVID19 outbreak by sacrificing a prize bull as a ‘sin-offering’. “Not many people recognise it these days, but I know an angry God when I see one,” Mr Katter said in an interview. “Droughts, fires, floods, ...

SYDNEY, NSW — Australian author and TV personality, Peter FitzSimons, has confirmed his intention to commence a passion project – a bandana cult in preparation for the end of the world – taking his public profile in a new and compelling direction. “I think it is clear that recent circumstances, with the bush fires and COVID-19 ...

CANBERRA, ACT — The Federal Government, in an effort to boost download numbers for their COVIDsafe app, has introduced a new ‘social proximity dating function’. The Minister for Government Services, Stuart Robert MP, said that the new function would not only maintain the original purpose of allowing for timely exposure tracing of COVID19 outbreaks, but could ...