ULTIMO, SYDNEY – In an unusual move that has left parents and educators scratching their heads, ABC’s beloved Play School program has decided to only teach the alphabet letters up to W in order to avoid any potential connections to Elon Musk’s enigmatic ‘X’ Twitter platform. The decision comes as a precautionary measure to prevent any ...

  CANBERRA, ACT – In a traumatic turn of events, Canberra residents are reporting that the ACT Government has organised a forced abortion for their on-again, off-again health partner, Calvary Hospital. Chief Minister Andrew Barr, also know as Randy Andy, was seen driving his Black Chevrolet Corvette from the Legislative Assembly to the Abortion clinic this morning ...

  WESTMINSTER, UK – In a surprising turn of events, some Evangelicals have come out in opposition to King Charles III’s recent Bible kiss at his coronation, claiming that the kiss was “non-consensual.” According to a spokesperson for the Evangelical Coalition of the United Kingdom, “We are shocked and appalled that the new king would be so forward ...

  LONDON, UK – In a stunning turn of events, Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has been nominated for a prestigious science award after successfully defining the term “woman” in a recent interview with Piers Morgan. Albanese, known more for his political prowess than his scientific acumen, shocked the nation when he confidently asserted what a woman ...

  HOBART, TAS – In an extraordinary discovery, a man from Hobart has determined that his prayers posted on Facebook are more likely to be effective. According to reports, Matthew Markson, a devout Christian on most days, had been praying to the Almighty regarding a number of practical issues but receiving, what he considered to be, an ...