Canine theologian slams Pope Francis over ‘children are better than dogs’ comment

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ADELAIDE, SA – A prominent canine theologian has slammed Pope Francis’ comments around pets as ‘inflammatory and rabid’.

The Pope made the comment that people who choose to have pets over children are acting selfishly in a discussion around parenthood during a general audience at the Vatican in Rome.

However, the Academic Dean and Lecturer in New Testament at Riddle College, Dr Michael Bone, has come out strongly against the Pope’s biblical interpretation.

“I am deeply disappointed with the comments and think the Pope should spend more time in Scripture before criticising my people.”

“The Bible is actually very affirming of the importance of pets in the life of faith.”

“I ask how many pets did Noah have compared to children?!”

“Did not Isaiah prophecy that birds of pray would arrive from the East, and that those who hope in the Lord would rise up on wings of beagles?”

“Even Jesus said that greater love has no one than this, that one should lay down his life for man’s best friend.”

Dr Bone also indicated that the Pope had also neglected the settle the more serious theological questions of whether pets will actually go to heaven, and said he was committed to hounding him until fauna salvation answers were provided.

“Now, I’m not saying the Pope is petphobic, but I think he should spend some more time listening to the Anamalia community.”

“I mean, perhaps if the Pope spent more time walking with our paws rather than just ‘patting down’, he might be a little less dogmatic.”

It is further reported that the Pope did meet with representatives of an upset pet community over the issue, but they were quickly reconciled after he gave them all scratches behind the ear.

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