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Biden discovers ‘Palms of David’ relic that he claims will unite nation
WILMINGTON, DELEWARE – President-elect, Joe Biden, has claimed to have discovered an ancient Israelite relic box containing the original ‘Palms of King David‘.
The discovery came after significant confusion caused by Mr Biden where he referred to the ‘Palmist’ at a Thanksgiving address, prompting accusations from Jews and Christians that he was unfamiliar with one of the most famous books in the BIble.
However, Mr Biden’s office cleared up the confusion this week by confirming that Mr Biden was actually referring to the recently discovered actual skeletonised palms from the ancient King of Israel.
“As much as the deplorable Trump supporters would like you to believe that President-elect Biden misspoke and is completely unfamiliar with the Bible and coherence in general, nothing could be further from the truth.”
“His discovery of the Palms of David is actually one of the most significant historical artifacts ever unearthed and put his spiritual credentials beyond all doubt.”
Mr Biden has also declared that he intends to put the palms on public display, where he is offering the opportunity to all Trump supporter to come and touch them and receive forgiveness for their Republican sins.
He indicated his hope that the palms would bring unity to a divided country.
“I pledge to be a President who seeks not to divide, but to unify.”
“These ancient palms that played the harp to calm King Saul will now be used to play a new song that can heal our broken nation.”
It is further reported that the Church of the Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) are particularly excited by the discovery, which they claim proves they were right about the lost tribe of Israel coming to the North America and bringing the bones of King David with them.
Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more relic news. For further discussion about relics, see this article by the Gospel Coalition.
