Biblical illiteracy causes collapse of coastal houses during flood

CENTRAL COAST, NSW – Investigators are blaming a lack of knowledge of basic biblical parables for the damage caused by floods in NSW today.

As many as 40 luxury beachside homes have had their frontage completely destroyed, with many others being evacuated as wild weather continues to batter the NSW coast.

Local residents have expressed perplexity as to how the catastrophe occurred.

“We built the houses as big as we could, in the most beautiful spot on the beach. How on earth were we supposed to know that if rain fell and winds blew that the houses could fall?”

“If only there was some book that had warned us not to build our mansions on the sand.”

A local minister and former fisherman, Pastor Peter Simons, said that it was a tragic event and that he had been trying to warn the residents for years, but unfortunately they weren’t interested.

“Whenever I would raise the state of their houses, or try and show them Jesus warnings, they would just call me judgmental and old-fashioned.”

“Ah well, maybe while we clean up they might be willing to hear a bit more about how their new diets of living on bread alone won’t work either.”

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more weather updates.For more information around the importance of reading your Bible, see this piece by the Gospel Coalition.

 

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

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