Berejiklian spotted reading ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’

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SYDNEY, NSW – New South Wales Premier, Gladys Berejiklian, has been photographed today reading former pastor and Christian relationship specialist, Joshua Harris’s book, ‘I Kissed Dating Goodbye’.

The Premier’s previously unknown relationship with disgraced former MP Darryl Maguire has been revealed as part of an ongoing NSW ICAC investigation, which has linked her to some of the former MP’s alleged wrong-doing.

When asked about being spotted with Harris’s book in today’s COVID-19 media update, the Premier remarked that the book had caught her eye from the 50c bin at her local St Vinnies op-shop.

“I know the book is out of fashion, even for Christians, but I’m pretty desperate to get some advice – any advice – about how to avoid getting into this mess again,” Premier Berejiklian said.

“If I’d shown a bit of restraint all those years ago, and taken Harris’s advice, I wouldn’t have been implicated in this nonsense.”

“I’m up to the bit where Harris encourages those in a relationship to avoid spending time alone together. I reckon this probably should included phone calls too.”

It is further reported that the Premier is considering a life of celibacy to avoid any further accusations of corruption. 

“I am considering walking in the footsteps of Queen Elizabeth I, and announcing myself as the first ‘Virgin Premier’.”

“People may criticise such a decision in a sex-obsessed culture, but if doing so allows me to reign for another 40 years then they won’t be laughing.”

The NSW Premier is apparently also keen to start reading Harris’s next book, How to blame God and others when things don’t work out‘.

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