Archangel Michael ‘no platformed’ over views on Islam

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LAKE SALDA, TURKEY – Celebrated celestial being, the Archangel Michael, has been ‘no platformed’ and has his debating invitation withdrawn by the College Historical Society at Trinity College Dublin next year.

The society’s auditor, Brid O’Donnell, announced that the invitation was rescinded due to the Archangels views on Islam, a similar reason to the cancellation of famous Atheist Richard Dawkins the previous week.

In line with his office as a high ranking angel of the One True God, Michael has been highly critical of Islam – alongside every other religion who doesn’t regcognise Jesus as ‘the only way to the Father’.

The Archangel has previously described Islam (alongside other faiths) as ”full of lies and deceit’, ‘an abomination to the Lord’ and ‘a great red dragon, with seven heads and ten horns, and on its heads seven diadems’.

“Our key priority in debate is not causing discomfort to our members,” Bríd O’Donnell announced.

“Even though he is an angel, a quick read of his Wikipedia page shows he is far too dogmatic and offensive for our event.”

Archangel Michael responded to the decision with deep disappointment.

“As the protector and the leader of the army in the war of heaven against the forces of evil, I am shocked and dismayed that the invitation has been withdrawn.”

“I would have thought a messenger from God would at least get a hearing at ‘Trinity College’, but I guess the world is more fallen than I thought.”

It is further reported that the Angel’s Union has organised a petition to the Almighty for a judgement of fire and brimstone on the College.

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