Americans launch ‘Sponsor an Aussie’ campaign in protest against lockdown restrictions

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NEW YORK, NY – A group of philanthropist Americans have launched a new campaign to help save Australians from lockdowns.

The campaign, ‘Sponsor an Aussie‘ (pronounced with an ‘s’ sound instead of a ‘z’), are trying to raise awareness of the tyrannical COVID-19 restrictions, and are encouraging Americans to support individual Australians in lockdown.

“By sponsoring individual Aussies, we can really do something about the oppressive and horrifying situation they are in,” said CEO of Save Australia, Monique Shields.

“The time for action is now to end this medical apartheid and stop Australia falling into the hands of their Government.”

“With your generosity you can choose from a number of care package options including sending them a beer, ordering a packet of shrimp for the barbie, or even posting them a hi-vis vest so they can fight back!”

The hashtags #SaveAustralia, #AustraliaHasFallen and #WontSomeonePleaseThinkoftheBogans have been trending internationally.

One sponsored Aussie, Keith Russell, expressed his deep gratitude for the charity of the Americans.

“I’m just so grateful for my American sponsorship.”

“In Oz it’s pretty bad at the moment. I mean I don’t usually have a job but even if I did it would suck having to work at home.”

“But my sponsor writes me letters all the time, asking me what I’m watching on Netflix and stuff, so that’s pretty neat.”

So far hundred of hundreds of Australians have already been given direct access to cleaner alcohol, assault rifles for protestors, nuclear submarines, and money for health services (though that was already free so the sponsored Aussies have mostly just been pocketing that one).

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more sponsorship news. TO read about the actual protests to save Australia, see this story from The New Daily.

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