ALP conference announce plan to address female discrimination by removing gender entirely

CANBERRA, ACT – The ALP has proposed a radical solution to the rampant abuse and discrimination against women by abolishing the concept of gender entirely.

The move comes as the Government faces increased criticism of its handling of cases of harassment and assault against females.

Taking a proactive step the ALP leader, Anthony Albanese, spoke at Labor’s Special Platform Conference 2021 on Tuesday where he outlined the genius behind their new ‘Gender Equality Strategy‘.

“We at the ALP believe we have the solution to the Morrison Government’s failures towards women – and that is to abolish the concept of woman entirely,” Mx. Albanese explained.

“By eliminating the archaic distinctions between those created male and female, we can also eliminate all the gender-based issues with one stroke.”

“Sex discrimination, violence against women, gender pay gaps, equal representation – these problems would all disappear completely with this new policy.”

Mx Albanese also explained that there were also a range of added economic benefits to the policy, which could help fund any of the gender policy transition difficulties.

“The savings will be immediately evident as much discriminatory gender services – such as female public toilets, female sports teams, women’s awards, women’s legal assistance,  and single-sex schools can all be rolled into our new nondescript gender category.”

“Additionally, all maternal health services can be scaled back, as well as battered women’s shelters which are clearly no longer necessary.”

“I know some will accuse of social engineering, or a ‘Big Brother’ move.”

“However we would argue that this isn’t appropriate at all, and we prefer it to be described as more of a gender-neutral ‘Big Sibling’ thing.”

There has been widespread condemnation of the policy from the Catholic Church, as well as a number of men’s groups who feel that the move would undermine all the natural societal advantages that males had built over several millennia.

There was however general support in other quarters by those who were relieved that ‘gender-reveal parties’ would no longer exist.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more ALP policy news. For further discussion around gender neutrality, see this piece by The Wee Flea.

The Damascus Dropbear exists to develop satirical news which helps people laugh, then think, about theology, culture, church and politics from a biblical worldview. Our mission is to help others to engage with the Bible, explore questions around religion, and ultimately see Christian principles and ethics inform our society. If you would like to support our project click here.

Most Popular

Copy link
Powered by Social Snap