Albanese gets ‘Jesus tattoo’ in appeal to Christian voters

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WESTERN SYDNEY, NSW – Opposition leader, Anthony Albanese, has begun his direct appeal to Christian voters ahead of the next election by getting a picture of ‘Social Justice Jesus’ tattooed on his upper arm.

In a pitch to Christian organisations yesterday, Mr Albanese expressed his desire to ‘reconnect with people of faith on Jesus values of fairness, compassion and togetherness’.

“I know that the Labor party was disastrously abandoned by Christian voters in the 2019 election, but it’s time to show our commitment to their values once again.”

“This new ripper ink of Jesus crying shows just how serious I am about my faith and justice, and how much love I have for all youse Christians.”

“I’d like to see ScoMo get one of these puppies. He’d probably turn all Judas before the first jab.”

Church leaders have had mixed responses to Mr Albanese’s attempts to reconnect. Some have expressed admiration for the obvious good intentions, while others were more circumspect.

“Look, he’s obviously trying his best but to be honest we’d be more interested in policies protecting our religious freedom than pictures on his arm,” said Archbishop Glenn Davies.

“In saying that, I have to admit the tattoo is pretty cool.”

It is further reported that Mr Albanese is considering connecting with other religious communities in similar ways. His office indicated this could include purchasing a designer Islamic prayer mat, carrying around a Sikh dagger, and being circumcised by a Jewish mohel.

Sign up to the Damascus Dropbear for more political updates. For further discussion about Jesus and Social justice, see this piece by Administer Justice.

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