ABC begs Cardinal George Pell’s forgiveness, invites to deliver Christmas address

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ULTIMO, NSW – ABC News have surprised viewers by asking Cardinal George to deliver its Christmas address and requesting his forgiveness regarding their biased reporting of his court case.

Cardinal Pell, who was cleared of child sexual abuse charges earlier this year, has previously clashed with the ABC after the public broadcaster called him disgraced, undoubtedly guilty, and even the ‘devil incarnate’.

ABC Managing Director, David Anderson, said the broadcaster was humble enough to learn its lesson and was excited that someone of the Cardinal’s standing and integrity could bring the Christmas message.

“We now recognise that not only is the Cardinal super innocent, but it is us, the ABC, that are guilty of abuse.”

“We have confessed our many sins and begged the Cardinal’s forgiveness, and are currently working through our 200,000 Hail Marys.”

“We are certain the Cardinal’s presence and message of love will be a great unifier for our country this Christmas.”

Cardinal Pell has accepted the invitation, and expressed joy at the broadcaster’s turnaround and the significant opportunity provided.

“I want to bring a message of deep affection and love, but also of God’s powerful judgment on all who stand against his anointed ones,” the Cardinal said.

“We should all seek to forgive each other and provide unconditional support for each other during this difficult time – all except Daniel Andrews those jerks in the Victorian police.”

It is further reported that the ABC is also seeking to address it’s lack of conservative voices by employing Sky News commentator Andrew Bolt, former Prime Minister Tony Abbott, and United Patriots Front activist Blair Cottrell onto their stellar news team for  2021.

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